So I have had flu shots nearly every year since I became a nurse, while I have had other viruses, I have never had the flu in any year I had a flu shot, until now. I like to believe I am one tough cookie, after all I have given birth to six children without medication, I usually have the dentist do drill work without numbing me and I am a mother.
So imagine my surprise when I get sick and it turns me into a shaking, weak, baby who could barely get herself to the bathroom, to say I was feeling sorry for myself is too mild. I am nearly 45 years old and I wanted my MOM, not that that was realistic, but I wanted someone to take care of me. That wasn't going to happen either, but the boys pitched in to take care of my grandson who we are raising so he got to preschool, my house on the other hand looks as though a tornado ran through it. I whined a bit to my friend, who told me to go to bed, the house was still going to be dirty when I felt better, that's what I was afraid of.
By Saturday I knew that I couldn't go to work, every time I got up I looked like a newborn giraffe trying to take its first steps, I knew I needed to go to the doctor but couldn't drive myself, and there just wasn't anyone in my household who was available to take me. Lee was running the snack bar at the local high school our children attend, and the others were in various places and at 14 my youngest son Morgan obviously doesn't drive. We have some very good friends, Nise and Horatio and since Nise was at work Horatio took pity on me and drove me to the clinic, Morgan agreed to watch his nephew and off we went.
It took the doctor less than five minutes to give a diagnosis, influenza, I told him it wasn't possible, I'd had a flu shot, he laughed, the flu shot isn't perfect, while it can't give you the flu, you can still sometimes catch the virus anyway, lucky me. I was so dehydrated he offered to have the clinic start an IV on me but I have this extreme resistance to having anyone be inconvenienced by me, even if I did want to be taken care o,f so I stoically(I can be such a martyr) turned him down. He prescribed an anti nausea medication, bed rest, and lots and lots of fluids, gave me a note for work saying I was not to work for the next five days, and sent me on my way.
Horatio asked if I wanted to go to his house, I turned him down(reluctantly), he has enough of his own responsibilities, and there is the whole I'm a big girl, I'll just put on my big girl panties and deal with it(can you say martyr)thing. So after taking me to get a few groceries, I wanted ramen and diet soda, he dropped me off at home admonishing me to take care of myself. Well what good martyr does that? As soon as I came in the door Morgan disappeared to a friends and no one else was home, the house hadn't magically cleaned itself and in fact I swear the dishes had had babies while I was gone.
I made ramen for me and Boo wanted a ham sandwich, while the ramen was cooking I started cleaning, feeling picked on of course because I was in martyr mode. Nise had pointed out one time that I sounded a bit like Eeyore, then she had her turn, so I decided that we needed an Eeyore so now I have a stuffed one in my car so that I remember that it is okay to be a bit melancholy but once in a while it gets to be wearing to be Eeyore if you take it too far. So I did something unusual, I stopped cleaning, took Boo and our food and went in and just rested, I didn't get on my computer, I didn't clean anything, I just watched sponge bob and let all the dishes keep multiplying in the sink.
You know what? The world didn't end, the house certainly didn't get clean, but the men in my life managed to make sure it didn't end up featured on the messiest house show.
I'm better now, still not quite up to speed, I'm back at work and when I find myself slipping into Eeyore mode I try to remember, the world isn't going to end if the kitchen isn't cleaned my way. I still would like someone to take care of me but I don't need to be a martyr about it.
Enough for now.
