I have mentioned in a previous post that I was married at age 17 in the August prior to my senior year of high school, I did not go into detail about that time and would like to share a little more. Surprisingly although my husband and I were not using any birth control it was a year before I became pregnant with our first child. Why didn't we use birth control, well the only way to really compound the sin of having sex outside of marriage would have been to use birth control, I already was sure I was the spawn of evil and didn't want to cause any more sin to fall upon the head of my partner.
When I first missed my period we waited for the required few days before you could use a home pregnancy test, back then the test took 45 minutes to process and it was done in a test tube that you had to read by looking for a circle at the bottom of the tube. We drove far out of the area close to our homes to furtively purchase a kit, we then had to wait until everyone was gone from my home before we could begin the process of testing. We carefully followed the directions and waited impatiently for the required time to pass, once it was done the conversation went something like this. "It's positive, I can see the ring at the bottom of the tube" I said. "Are you sure it doesn't look like the picture on the instruction sheet", said Lee in a shaky voice. "Yes I'm sure, look see the ring, you can see it in the mirror" I replied. This went back and forth until I finally suggested we get it followed up by a blood test.
I was sure we would have the same results with a blood test, this was one determined little being and I was already having symptoms of "morning" sickness. We went the next day and had the results by that afternoon, I was definitely and without a doubt pregnant. Now what, we knew we wanted to get married and had been planning to marry sometime after I graduated from high school but how on earth were we going to tell our parents. We had visions of my father with a shot gun, we needn't have feared my father it was my mother we should have been afraid of. Before I was able to tell my parents a sibling had gone into my room to use my phone and found the papers from the clinic we had gone to. I was confronted by a very disappointed, angry parent and I won't go into the details but sometimes when parents are hurt and angry they say things that they later regret. We nearly ran away that night after the confrontation, but decided to wait it out for a few days. That night my boyfriend told his father and was told any decision we made would be supported.
A few days later my mother talked to me again, expressing her love for me and her disappointment because she had wanted so much more for me than to be a young mother, she said if we wanted to marry that she would allow it only if Lee came to her and asked. When he came to her later that day and asked for permission she looked at him and said he had her permission but that she wanted to make clear to him that he was Never to say he had to marry me because he didn't. I could stay home and keep the baby, place the baby for adoption, or we could marry and raise the child but marrying was a choice not a requirement and she would never want me dishonored by his ever saying we married not by choice but because of this baby.
I would have been content to marry in front of a justice of the peace, to go quietly and spare my parents any more upset, but my mother stepped in and said I would have a wedding. She had been married by a justice of the peace and she wanted me to have a real wedding, a memory to cherish, with all that came with it, so we set about to plan a wedding.
We were married on a sunny August day, my mother and sister provided all the food and family served in the kitchen, we had the ceremony and reception in an LDS ward house. My sister made my wedding cake and it was decorated with fresh roses. It was wonderful and more than I expected, more than I felt I deserved, I am so grateful to my mother for seeing that having this start was important, I have beautiful pictures and a lovely memory.
Enough For Now.
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