Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Holiday Holes
NO matter how much time passes by ther is a hole in our home that nothing can fill, no other time of the year save Fathers day leaves as much of a hole as Christmas time. Small things become reminders of the last Christmas that we spent as a complete family, Colley's Christmas stocking sits empty, family tradition is for each family member to receive an ornament from Mrs.Claus on Christmas Eve to be placed on the tree, ornaments meant to go with that child once they leave home to start their own traditions. My heart aches with the memories of the past, the bittersweet memories bring joy and pain. Colley's first Christmas when the children in our family get a very special teddy bear, his last Christmas, and all the times between. I so enjoy watching my other children and grandchildren and thank God they are here but nothing will ever make us whole.
Boo Helps Decorate theTree
I was over at Horatio and Nises' home with my grandson Boo and they had not yet got their tree up, not from lack of trying, one tree had been up for a brief ten or so minutes before their Rottweiler(named Meat, fierce name for a marshmallow) managed to break it. Nise was headed out the door to work in the wonderful world of retail shopping at Christmas time and so Horatio had orders to get a different tree and get it up or else the spirit of his wife's anger was going to visit him. Apparently this threat works at their house, Nise must have a better mad face than I do, so Horatio promptly got the tree up from the basement storage and plopped the box in the front room of their house. Nise left for work satisfied that the tree would be taken care of.
Boo who had been playing around the house was impatiently waiting for something to happen, Horatio didn't seem to be in a hurry to get going and so with my three year old helper in tow I began to put the tree together. While I was sorting the branches into the correct piles, Boo was happily rearranging the branches behind me so that what we ended up with was chaos. Horatio finally took pity on me and came out and between the two of us we got the tree up and all the branches into their proper place. While they had perfectly good ornaments and Boo had already starting decorating the tree, Horatio decided they needed a new "theme" and decided we needed to go to the local Walmart to purchase decorations. We took my car since I have the car seat and away we went.
Boo is very three, he wants to do everything his way and only his way, he refuses to sit in the grocery cart, and wants to touch, EVERYTHING. So imagine my surprise when Horatio placed him in the cart, I expected objections, there were none, Boo sat happily as long as Horatio pushed the cart, up one aisle and down the next and there he sat, not pulling stuff into the cart, not kicking the cart just to make noise, not trying to climb out, just sitting and chatting to Horatio in secret boy language. I was stunned.
Everything was going so well, Horatio had decided on his theme, blue and silver and Boo was busy pointing out all the ornaments, we were making record time. That was when I spotted the tree skirts, and decided that the theme required a beautiful silver, glittered skirt to finish it off, I proudly took it over to place in the cart and that is when things started to change. You knew it couldn't last.
"What's that", asked Boo, "A tree skirt. It goes under the tree" I replied. Promptly Boo disagreed, "NO its not! Its my dress". I learned a long time ago that you can't win an argument with a three year old and that sometimes it isn't worth it to try, so I agreed it was indeed his dress and we would put it on when we got back to the house.
Once back to the house Boo insisted that we find his dress and so we put it on and he danced happily around playing in his dress until we had the tree decorated. "Okay Boo, time to put the dress on the tree", said I, hoping beyond hope a battle wasn't brewing. I was wrong of course, I had to pry it off his shoulders to place it around the tree and three year olds have long memories, for weeks he asked where it went. I finally bought him two "dresses" of his own. He loves them but he still wants his dress back, the shiny silver twirly cape we placed under the tree.
Boo who had been playing around the house was impatiently waiting for something to happen, Horatio didn't seem to be in a hurry to get going and so with my three year old helper in tow I began to put the tree together. While I was sorting the branches into the correct piles, Boo was happily rearranging the branches behind me so that what we ended up with was chaos. Horatio finally took pity on me and came out and between the two of us we got the tree up and all the branches into their proper place. While they had perfectly good ornaments and Boo had already starting decorating the tree, Horatio decided they needed a new "theme" and decided we needed to go to the local Walmart to purchase decorations. We took my car since I have the car seat and away we went.
Boo is very three, he wants to do everything his way and only his way, he refuses to sit in the grocery cart, and wants to touch, EVERYTHING. So imagine my surprise when Horatio placed him in the cart, I expected objections, there were none, Boo sat happily as long as Horatio pushed the cart, up one aisle and down the next and there he sat, not pulling stuff into the cart, not kicking the cart just to make noise, not trying to climb out, just sitting and chatting to Horatio in secret boy language. I was stunned.
Everything was going so well, Horatio had decided on his theme, blue and silver and Boo was busy pointing out all the ornaments, we were making record time. That was when I spotted the tree skirts, and decided that the theme required a beautiful silver, glittered skirt to finish it off, I proudly took it over to place in the cart and that is when things started to change. You knew it couldn't last.
"What's that", asked Boo, "A tree skirt. It goes under the tree" I replied. Promptly Boo disagreed, "NO its not! Its my dress". I learned a long time ago that you can't win an argument with a three year old and that sometimes it isn't worth it to try, so I agreed it was indeed his dress and we would put it on when we got back to the house.
Once back to the house Boo insisted that we find his dress and so we put it on and he danced happily around playing in his dress until we had the tree decorated. "Okay Boo, time to put the dress on the tree", said I, hoping beyond hope a battle wasn't brewing. I was wrong of course, I had to pry it off his shoulders to place it around the tree and three year olds have long memories, for weeks he asked where it went. I finally bought him two "dresses" of his own. He loves them but he still wants his dress back, the shiny silver twirly cape we placed under the tree.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Shoulding on Myself
I once heard Richard Blaise, who competed on Top Chef, state that he has these great ideas for wonderful meals and makes those meals reality only to hate them the second they were completed and want to throw the food away and start over because he never feels he had done good enough and should have done this thing and that thing different.
A counselor of mine called this "Shoulding on Yourself". I am very good at shoulding on myself, in fact I am so good I could teach classes. I judge myself constantly on what I feel I should have done and cannot see that I do anything well. For example I have created wedding cakes for family and others and like Richard Blaise would toss them out and start over because no amount of perfection would make me feel I had done well. I brush aside any praise and point out whatever flaws I perceive may be present.
So I decided I would stop shoulding on myself at least for a moment and list those things I have done, without putting the usual self qualifiers as to why it isn't good enough and without "shoulding".
1. I graduated from high school while married and after having a baby
2. I delivered six beautiful healthy baby boys without medications.
3. I have written two songs
5. I can sing
6. I went to college/nursing school while raising three small children and had a fourth child while
attending college and graduated with honors.
7. I have been married to the same man for over 27 years.
8. I completed a bachelors in nursing, graduating respectively while mourning my child's death.
9. I survived the death of one of my sons.
10. My husband and I have opened a business/franchise and currently have two tax prep. stores
11. I have recently started a business with a long time friend
12. I decorate creative character cakes and have made a total of six wedding cakes, all self taught
13. My husband and I are raising one of our grandchildren.
Just a few things listed and hard for me to do without feeling that niggling little voice at the back of my head that tells me how my accomplishments are minor, not enough, so I'm squashing the should monster. I am good enough.
Enough for Now
A counselor of mine called this "Shoulding on Yourself". I am very good at shoulding on myself, in fact I am so good I could teach classes. I judge myself constantly on what I feel I should have done and cannot see that I do anything well. For example I have created wedding cakes for family and others and like Richard Blaise would toss them out and start over because no amount of perfection would make me feel I had done well. I brush aside any praise and point out whatever flaws I perceive may be present.
So I decided I would stop shoulding on myself at least for a moment and list those things I have done, without putting the usual self qualifiers as to why it isn't good enough and without "shoulding".
1. I graduated from high school while married and after having a baby
2. I delivered six beautiful healthy baby boys without medications.
3. I have written two songs
5. I can sing
6. I went to college/nursing school while raising three small children and had a fourth child while
attending college and graduated with honors.
7. I have been married to the same man for over 27 years.
8. I completed a bachelors in nursing, graduating respectively while mourning my child's death.
9. I survived the death of one of my sons.
10. My husband and I have opened a business/franchise and currently have two tax prep. stores
11. I have recently started a business with a long time friend
12. I decorate creative character cakes and have made a total of six wedding cakes, all self taught
13. My husband and I are raising one of our grandchildren.
Just a few things listed and hard for me to do without feeling that niggling little voice at the back of my head that tells me how my accomplishments are minor, not enough, so I'm squashing the should monster. I am good enough.
Enough for Now
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